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RESISTANCE IS FUTILE
TO: JIM HEALY
CONSULTANT@MCIMAIL.COM
FROM: CLAUS,SANTA
SCLAUS@NPOLE.COM
SUBJECT: REENGINEERING
We have a problem. Our manufacturing system is proving inadequate. Seasonal demand is killing us and we need a way to smooth production despite this variable, unpredictable demand. Read about your services and thought you might be able to help.
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TO: HEALY
FROM: CLAUS
SUBJECT: SMOOTHING THE FLOW
Your white paper "CyberSpace Manufacturing: The end of size as a competitive Advantage" was enlightening, but probably not useful for the problems at hand.
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TO: JIM
FROM: SANTA
SUBJECT: TRANSPORTATION
You state , and I quote, "The ordinary 'reindeer-sleigh'" delivery system is, at present, a luxury that only wealthy, less-cost-conscious customers can afford." I cannot agree
We understand the conventional wisdom is we cannot hope to compete with FedEx. But your recommendation that we utilize overnight service and warehouse final assembly runs counter to my staff recommendations. Generally, we vertically manufacture all our discrete entertainment products. We do outsource for semiconductor and software needs.
Are you available for on-site consulting?
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TO: MR. HEALY
FROM: ST. NICK
SUBJECT: TRAVEL AND FEE STRUCTURE
Wow!!
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TO: HEALY
FROM: SANTA CLAUS
SUBJECT: YOUR VISIT
We had hoped to impress you with our display of holiday spirit!. Alas, as you so cogently point out, our facility is in the "mature" category. Defined by you, that means "what you've installed, but wish you hadn't".
In particular, you cite our mainframe management tools. We need to, in your parlance, "move to client / server technology with distributed computing across file and application with PC's and workstations. A grounding in distributed object-oriented computing should be the focus of our efforts. This will eventually lead to simultaneous delivery of concept design and product. This is a cyberspace paradigm in which 1) ideas and products are one, 2) design, production and distribution are separate, 3) tangible goods are limited to enablers and expendable, and 4)cyber-product is delivered by means of natural implants."
Thanks again.
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TO: JIMBO
FROM: BIG SC
SUBJECT: PROGRESS
We have established distribution through the overnight services - eliminating the Pole post office -thereby relegating the reindeer barn to a theme park stop. Both the cookie and ginger bread bakery operations are now outsourced to Keebler, and 30 percent of production in the toy works is now done in Thailand. And I have you to thank for all of this.
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TO: ABC CONSULTING
FROM: SC FINANCIAL
SUBJ: INVOICING POLICY
Your recent invoice for services was rejected. Only coach travel is permitted. Further, you will not be reimbursed for movies rented during hotel stay. And you need receipts for all purchases over five dollars, including for the $7.95 you spent at Barnes & Noble to buy PCs for Dummies.
Merry Christmas.
As appeared in Manufacturing Systems Magazine December 1995 Page 16
http://www.manufacturingsystems.com
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